I recently joined my first book club called Mom Salon. I thought it would be interesting as a mom but at the same time I am always looking for ways as a Director to better understand parents. We are reading four books focusing on the daily life of motherhood. The topics we discuss deal with the concepts of bad mother vs. good mother, various challenges and pressures we deal with on a daily basis plus the history of women. The moms in the group have children ranging from age one to twelve. There are no characters in the stories but the women in the group really make up the true story of motherhood. I found this group so interesting because each participant has her own story similar to the parents we see each day in our schools. One mom suddenly lost her husband at 40. One mom, who is Jewish, was raised by her father after her mom left her as a baby. This mom was raised solely by an African American nanny who she attended church with each week. Some of the moms are divorced and a few grew up with divorced parents. I casually talk to my parents each day at drop off and pick up but this was different. The moms really delved into their beliefs and feelings on parenthood and the variety of pressures they were contending with on a daily basis. It was interesting to see the connection to their upbringing and how they are raising their own children. During these book club meetings I was wondering how our adult life circumstances play a role on the choices we make each day when it comes to our children lives. Do we raise our children based solely on how we were raised or does our belief system change along the way due to financial circumstances, societal pressures, and caretaker responsibilities? This book club reminded me how I continuously tell my teachers to think about each child’s habits, traits and personalities which are being developed by their home environment. Currently I have children enrolled with single moms living with extended family, same sex partners, stay at home dads and parents struggling financially. There are so many factors thrown into the mix when these formidable years are being developed. I am sure we all have parents walking in with their cell phones while picking up their children and don’t understand what message they are sending to that little child waiting for them. On the other hand, I have the mom who is working two jobs but will spend an hour on our playground playing with their child at pick up time. We have parents that let their kids go to sleep at 11:00pm because “they are too tired to argue” and the parent that is afraid to allow their child to have a munchkin in fear that it will start a downward spiral of terrible eating habits. Everyday we set out to teach children to be kind, follow certain directions, wash their hands, sing songs and have fun. Teachers also have the children’s various developmental needs to contend with but we have to be very aware of what the home life is of each child. There also times when a parent confides in me about a situation at home that a teacher is unaware of. We have to remember that the majority of parents have a lot of pressure on them and they try to combine what society is telling them, their peer group and mix it in with their own inner beliefs from how they were raised. That child in your class that seems so needy and always craves attention might have parents that don’t get home until close to bed time. The child who is aggressive and doesn’t like to share might have a home without structure or "rules in roost”. We need to step back and really think about what happens before and after our students leave us. As a Director we are not only here to educate the children but also the parents. I try to provide workshops from a local parenting center, have helpful parenting books, and just let parents know I am accessible if they need advice or someone to listen. It is important to remember that whatever our individual beliefs may be about child raising, we must respect that each child comes from a home with different structures, rules, values, culture and ideals.
Do you believe that each child is part nature and nurture or just one or another?As a Director/Teacher how can you learn more about your family’s home life, child raising philosophy?Have you had a family whose values or child rearing practices go against your schools philosophy? How did you handle it?
Happy Hanukkah to All,
Beth Berman M.S.Ed
Director of Early Childhood Education
Richard E. Rudolph Jr. Preschool
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Eilu V'eilu December 1, 2009 Volume 45, Week 1
What is the role of the early childhood educator in our congregations today?
By: Ellen Dietrick
During a typical day in our congregations, the early childhood educator nurses a scrape, offers a listening ear, and confers with a committee. It is through these many interactions that shape the day, that the educator works to connect our families to our congregational communities. Pirkei Avot 2:4 admonishes us, “Do not separate yourself from the community.” Jewish life depends on Jewish community. Many parents discover for the first time what it means to be part of a larger Jewish community when they enroll their children in a synagogue-based early childhood school. In fact, research supports this: a recent nationwide study by Jack Wertheimer found that, “Good schools intentionally work to develop a community among their students, staff, and parents. Beginning with the assumption that learning cannot be separated from context, and that to a large extent the school’s most important message is embedded in the culture and relationships it fosters, these schools devote much time to building a community that attends to the needs of individual children; embraces them in an environment where their classmates become their good, often their best, friends; and connects them to the larger congregational body. . .”1 The early childhood educator is uniquely positioned to foster this connection.
The first years of a child's life are focused around identity formation. At the same time, the family is also developing its own identity. In Jewish families in particular, this is often the time when new parents begin experimenting with their sense of themselves as Jewish families. They ask questions such as: Do I adopt the Jewish traditions of my childhood or create new ones? What is my own connection to Judaism as an adult? What are my spiritual dreams for my child? It is at this critical life stage that many of our families first encounter the synagogue through the early childhood program. Research shows that Jewish early childhood education has an unparalleled ability to influence the entire family's Jewish practice through their children, as "children may move parents to start thinking about their own relationship to the Jewish community, to Jewish religious practice (such as Shabbat celebration), and to other aspects of Jewish life"2. Helping young Jewish families address these questions, and enabling them to begin to develop and build their Jewish identity creates the first chance many families will have to do so through a Jewish institutional framework.
As a child typically spends several years in preschool, the regular daily contact between students, their parents, and the early childhood educator help form a significant connection that may have a lifelong impact. Who else in our synagogues is at the door greeting congregants five days each week? As their relationships with the early childhood professionals develop, families begin to value Jewish community and look for opportunities to become more involved. In my own congregation a parent of two young children recently commented, “Through our involvement with the preschool, our family’s Jewish practice and identity has been strengthened more than I could have imagined. We've become a true part of the synagogue community, and I’m constantly amazed by the growth and enthusiasm of the families around us.”
It is experiences like these—more common than one might suspect—that motivate families to integrate Jewish ideas and practices into their homes while becoming involved in the life of the congregation. As a collaborative member of the professional staff and lay leadership team—together engaged in a community-building enterprise—the early childhood educator seeks synergy and new potential points of connection with families. This provides a tremendous resource and a singular entry point even for families with a tentative connection to the Jewish community.
In practical terms, in my own congregation this community building takes a multistep approach. As the early childhood educator, I am often the first point of contact a family may have with the congregation. I begin by building a personal relationship with the family through an individual preenrollment conversation. The family then receives a personal visit to their home from their child's teacher. Moving to the next level, we make a systematic effort to connect families to one another, which starts even before the child begins the school year. Families take turns hosting class get-togethers and a popular program matches families for monthly Shabbat dinners in their respective homes. Finally, we connect families to the congregational community as a whole, matching them with numerous opportunities within the congregation for worship, education, and meeting others. These relationships grow as the child goes through the preschool years and well beyond.
Register for the Eilu V'Eilu list (on shamash.org) at:
http://urj.org/learning/torah/ten/eilu/
By: Ellen Dietrick
During a typical day in our congregations, the early childhood educator nurses a scrape, offers a listening ear, and confers with a committee. It is through these many interactions that shape the day, that the educator works to connect our families to our congregational communities. Pirkei Avot 2:4 admonishes us, “Do not separate yourself from the community.” Jewish life depends on Jewish community. Many parents discover for the first time what it means to be part of a larger Jewish community when they enroll their children in a synagogue-based early childhood school. In fact, research supports this: a recent nationwide study by Jack Wertheimer found that, “Good schools intentionally work to develop a community among their students, staff, and parents. Beginning with the assumption that learning cannot be separated from context, and that to a large extent the school’s most important message is embedded in the culture and relationships it fosters, these schools devote much time to building a community that attends to the needs of individual children; embraces them in an environment where their classmates become their good, often their best, friends; and connects them to the larger congregational body. . .”1 The early childhood educator is uniquely positioned to foster this connection.
The first years of a child's life are focused around identity formation. At the same time, the family is also developing its own identity. In Jewish families in particular, this is often the time when new parents begin experimenting with their sense of themselves as Jewish families. They ask questions such as: Do I adopt the Jewish traditions of my childhood or create new ones? What is my own connection to Judaism as an adult? What are my spiritual dreams for my child? It is at this critical life stage that many of our families first encounter the synagogue through the early childhood program. Research shows that Jewish early childhood education has an unparalleled ability to influence the entire family's Jewish practice through their children, as "children may move parents to start thinking about their own relationship to the Jewish community, to Jewish religious practice (such as Shabbat celebration), and to other aspects of Jewish life"2. Helping young Jewish families address these questions, and enabling them to begin to develop and build their Jewish identity creates the first chance many families will have to do so through a Jewish institutional framework.
As a child typically spends several years in preschool, the regular daily contact between students, their parents, and the early childhood educator help form a significant connection that may have a lifelong impact. Who else in our synagogues is at the door greeting congregants five days each week? As their relationships with the early childhood professionals develop, families begin to value Jewish community and look for opportunities to become more involved. In my own congregation a parent of two young children recently commented, “Through our involvement with the preschool, our family’s Jewish practice and identity has been strengthened more than I could have imagined. We've become a true part of the synagogue community, and I’m constantly amazed by the growth and enthusiasm of the families around us.”
It is experiences like these—more common than one might suspect—that motivate families to integrate Jewish ideas and practices into their homes while becoming involved in the life of the congregation. As a collaborative member of the professional staff and lay leadership team—together engaged in a community-building enterprise—the early childhood educator seeks synergy and new potential points of connection with families. This provides a tremendous resource and a singular entry point even for families with a tentative connection to the Jewish community.
In practical terms, in my own congregation this community building takes a multistep approach. As the early childhood educator, I am often the first point of contact a family may have with the congregation. I begin by building a personal relationship with the family through an individual preenrollment conversation. The family then receives a personal visit to their home from their child's teacher. Moving to the next level, we make a systematic effort to connect families to one another, which starts even before the child begins the school year. Families take turns hosting class get-togethers and a popular program matches families for monthly Shabbat dinners in their respective homes. Finally, we connect families to the congregational community as a whole, matching them with numerous opportunities within the congregation for worship, education, and meeting others. These relationships grow as the child goes through the preschool years and well beyond.
Register for the Eilu V'Eilu list (on shamash.org) at:
http://urj.org/learning/torah/ten/eilu/
Monday, December 7, 2009
Eilu V'eilu December 1, 2009 Volume 45, Week 1
What is the role of the early childhood educator in our congregations today?
By: Karen B. Goldstein
It was the first week of kindergarten for my son, Ben. When I came through the door at the end of the day, he ran to me and blurted out, “I don’t think I can go to this school, Mommy. They don’t know what they are doing!” I started to tell him that it was only the first week and that public school was different than gan (kindergarten or prekindergarten). But he interrupted me saying, “They didn’t have Shabbat, Mommy. They don’t know what they’re doing.” Now, the “mom” in me felt really bad for my disappointed little boy. But the early childhood educator in me silently cheered, “Yay!” at the confirmation that the development of Ben’s Jewish identity was well underway. And, it started in my temple’s early childhood center—a child care center that serves families with children aged six weeks to five years—which I was lovingly growing.
The role of the early childhood educator is varied, but I see my primary focus as that of a “connector.” I connect young families to the center, the gan staff, other young Jewish families, our clergy, and, if I do my job well, I connect these young families to our temple. I provide the opportunity for our gan families to form a community within our temple community in which they feel supported, included, responsible, and in touch with their sometimes forgotten or neglected Judaism.
I strive to provide an environment where the children and their parents—and even their grandparents—are comfortable asking questions. I’m asked a lot of them, and there are no “bad” questions! Our families learn alongside their children and eagerly digest any and all communication and information provided to them. Because I provide parents with the language, the information, and the courage to support their children’s growing knowledge of Judaism, as well as the more traditional kindergarten readiness curriculum, I am often viewed as an “expert” in all things kid-oriented. It’s assumed that I know all there is to know about such varied topics as: continuing to breast feed while returning to work, toilet training, biting, common childhood illnesses, developmental milestones, redirecting children, getting a child to hold a parent’s hand in the crazy parking lot outside, moving, death, and anything else you can possibly think of!
I am an advocate for young children, parents, and my gan staff, along with our lay leaders and clergy. I wish to be that little voice inside everyone’s head when decisions are being made—the one that whispers, “Will this benefit the children?” I model this by making certain that all my decisions are based on what is best for each child every day. I share with you that this does not make money for the temple. It makes something more precious—it makes members!
Current brain research and a glance at the concept of emotional intelligence support the idea that identity is formed by age five. This includes our children’s Jewish identity. A firm Jewish identity is not easily formed in a two-hour, once-a-week religious school program without some serious input from parents at home, who may or may not have the knowledge and skills to support this teaching. More recently, the impact of learning before the age of two has come to the forefront of educational research. Our children are Jewish at birth—they don’t become Jewish at age two or three or (God forbid) in the third grade—and we as a movement should be supporting and developing quality, early childhood programs that include infant and toddler care. If we don’t supply this community for our youngest learners and their families, where will they go, what will they learn, and from whom will they learn? My role is to ensure that every young child and every young family who chooses to come into our center develops a relationship with our temple in order to prevent Judaism from becoming like an overcoat that is put on and taken off as needed. Judaism should be worn every day, regardless of the weather.
Register for the Eilu V'Eilu list (on shamash.org) at: http://urj.org/learning/torah/ten/eilu/
By: Karen B. Goldstein
It was the first week of kindergarten for my son, Ben. When I came through the door at the end of the day, he ran to me and blurted out, “I don’t think I can go to this school, Mommy. They don’t know what they are doing!” I started to tell him that it was only the first week and that public school was different than gan (kindergarten or prekindergarten). But he interrupted me saying, “They didn’t have Shabbat, Mommy. They don’t know what they’re doing.” Now, the “mom” in me felt really bad for my disappointed little boy. But the early childhood educator in me silently cheered, “Yay!” at the confirmation that the development of Ben’s Jewish identity was well underway. And, it started in my temple’s early childhood center—a child care center that serves families with children aged six weeks to five years—which I was lovingly growing.
The role of the early childhood educator is varied, but I see my primary focus as that of a “connector.” I connect young families to the center, the gan staff, other young Jewish families, our clergy, and, if I do my job well, I connect these young families to our temple. I provide the opportunity for our gan families to form a community within our temple community in which they feel supported, included, responsible, and in touch with their sometimes forgotten or neglected Judaism.
I strive to provide an environment where the children and their parents—and even their grandparents—are comfortable asking questions. I’m asked a lot of them, and there are no “bad” questions! Our families learn alongside their children and eagerly digest any and all communication and information provided to them. Because I provide parents with the language, the information, and the courage to support their children’s growing knowledge of Judaism, as well as the more traditional kindergarten readiness curriculum, I am often viewed as an “expert” in all things kid-oriented. It’s assumed that I know all there is to know about such varied topics as: continuing to breast feed while returning to work, toilet training, biting, common childhood illnesses, developmental milestones, redirecting children, getting a child to hold a parent’s hand in the crazy parking lot outside, moving, death, and anything else you can possibly think of!
I am an advocate for young children, parents, and my gan staff, along with our lay leaders and clergy. I wish to be that little voice inside everyone’s head when decisions are being made—the one that whispers, “Will this benefit the children?” I model this by making certain that all my decisions are based on what is best for each child every day. I share with you that this does not make money for the temple. It makes something more precious—it makes members!
Current brain research and a glance at the concept of emotional intelligence support the idea that identity is formed by age five. This includes our children’s Jewish identity. A firm Jewish identity is not easily formed in a two-hour, once-a-week religious school program without some serious input from parents at home, who may or may not have the knowledge and skills to support this teaching. More recently, the impact of learning before the age of two has come to the forefront of educational research. Our children are Jewish at birth—they don’t become Jewish at age two or three or (God forbid) in the third grade—and we as a movement should be supporting and developing quality, early childhood programs that include infant and toddler care. If we don’t supply this community for our youngest learners and their families, where will they go, what will they learn, and from whom will they learn? My role is to ensure that every young child and every young family who chooses to come into our center develops a relationship with our temple in order to prevent Judaism from becoming like an overcoat that is put on and taken off as needed. Judaism should be worn every day, regardless of the weather.
Register for the Eilu V'Eilu list (on shamash.org) at: http://urj.org/learning/torah/ten/eilu/
Friday, December 4, 2009
Eilu V'Eilu
The following was copied from http://urj.org/learning/torah/ten/eilu/
Eilu V’eilu
These and those are the words of the Living God
After two successful years of 10 Minutes of Torah, we’ve added a new dimension: Eilu V’eilu. This point/counterpoint model involves a dialogue between two scholars and provides for your active participation. This kind of intellectual debate is at the center of our tradition. The term eilu v’eilu comes from the following Talmudic text:
For three years there was a dispute between Beit Hillel and Beit Shammai, the former asserting, “The law is in agreement with our views,” and the latter contending, “The law is in agreement with our views.” Then a bat kol, a voice from heaven, announced, Eilu v’eilu divrei Elohim Chayim, “These and those are the words of the living God, but the law is in agreement with the rulings of Beit Hillel.”
Since, however, “Eilu V’eilu, both are the words of the living God,” what was it that entitled Beit Hillel to have the law fixed according to their rulings? Because they were kindly and modest, they studied their own rulings and those of Beit Shammai, and were even so humble to mention the words of Beit Shammai before their own. (Eruvin 13b)
“These and those.” Two conflicting opinions can both be valid. Furthermore, there are conflicting points of view which cannot exist without the other. The phrase Eilu V’eilu emphasizes the incompleteness of any single opinion. The v’, which means “and”, is essential, uniting and complementing the two opinions without choosing one or compromising the integrity of either. Both “are the words of the living God;” the debate between Hillel and Shammai is a machloket l’shem shamayim—an enduring dispute in the name of heaven.
Eilu V’Eilu follows in the tradition of the preservation of the debates between Beit Hillel and Beit Shammai.
One month, two Jews, (at least) two opinions.
Week 1: Two position papers. You have a chance to submit your questions.
Week 2: Rebuttals and challenge.
Week 3: Responses to questions from you.
Week 4: Summary.
Register at the bottom of the page: http://urj.org/learning/torah/ten/eilu/ for the Eilu V'eilu list (on shamash.org).
We'll be posting Ellen Dietrick's and Karen Goldstein's articles, regarding the role of the early childhood educator in congregations, next week!
Eilu V’eilu
These and those are the words of the Living God
After two successful years of 10 Minutes of Torah, we’ve added a new dimension: Eilu V’eilu. This point/counterpoint model involves a dialogue between two scholars and provides for your active participation. This kind of intellectual debate is at the center of our tradition. The term eilu v’eilu comes from the following Talmudic text:
For three years there was a dispute between Beit Hillel and Beit Shammai, the former asserting, “The law is in agreement with our views,” and the latter contending, “The law is in agreement with our views.” Then a bat kol, a voice from heaven, announced, Eilu v’eilu divrei Elohim Chayim, “These and those are the words of the living God, but the law is in agreement with the rulings of Beit Hillel.”
Since, however, “Eilu V’eilu, both are the words of the living God,” what was it that entitled Beit Hillel to have the law fixed according to their rulings? Because they were kindly and modest, they studied their own rulings and those of Beit Shammai, and were even so humble to mention the words of Beit Shammai before their own. (Eruvin 13b)
“These and those.” Two conflicting opinions can both be valid. Furthermore, there are conflicting points of view which cannot exist without the other. The phrase Eilu V’eilu emphasizes the incompleteness of any single opinion. The v’, which means “and”, is essential, uniting and complementing the two opinions without choosing one or compromising the integrity of either. Both “are the words of the living God;” the debate between Hillel and Shammai is a machloket l’shem shamayim—an enduring dispute in the name of heaven.
Eilu V’Eilu follows in the tradition of the preservation of the debates between Beit Hillel and Beit Shammai.
One month, two Jews, (at least) two opinions.
Week 1: Two position papers. You have a chance to submit your questions.
Week 2: Rebuttals and challenge.
Week 3: Responses to questions from you.
Week 4: Summary.
Register at the bottom of the page: http://urj.org/learning/torah/ten/eilu/ for the Eilu V'eilu list (on shamash.org).
We'll be posting Ellen Dietrick's and Karen Goldstein's articles, regarding the role of the early childhood educator in congregations, next week!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
What the Maccabees Heroes and Pre-Writing Have in Common
In early October there was a lively discussion on the Director’s Shamash ListServ about the acquisition of pre-handwriting skills. Many felt the best approach to this concept was the implementation of the “Handwriting Without Tears” curriculum. While some felt it was inappropriate to use a pre-written curriculum, others felt that if used correctly the curriculum noted was both extremely developmental and at the same time very age appropriate.
Handwriting is a developmental skill that emerges over time. So, now that we are fully into the school year and fast approaching the Chanukah season that celebrates the strength of a small band of Jews, it seems like a fitting time to revisit this discussion that focuses on strength in small motor development.
In the past, prior to the availability of commercially written curriculum, it was second nature for the classroom teacher to provide multiple classroom opportunities so children would strengthen growing muscles. Since there were no curricula, we used our own ingenuity and creativity.
So let’s go back to the basics! What are you doing in your classrooms to encourage small muscle strength in the fingers, hands and arms? What kinds of vertical and horizontal large motor activities are you providing which strengthen the body? What kinds of weight bearing activities are you providing to strengthen the shoulders? And how are you tying all of this into your Chanukah based curriculum?
Here are a few ideas. (1) Using playdoh to make a pretend chanukiah; (2) Taking turns rolling cookie dough as you make Chanukah cookies for snack; (3) Pushing or pulling a wagon full of blocks as the class rebuilds the temple.
Perhaps we can come up with our own developmentally appropriate list of things to do at Chanukah time that not only teach about the holiday, but also help children to be strong like the Maccabee heroes while at the same time develop those small and large muscles.
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