Diffusing the Issue

Several years ago on Back to School Night a father approached me about his son. The child, who was extremely tall for his age yet socially immature, would turn five two days after the cut-off (in our area October 1^st) and so was not eligible to enroll in the public kindergarten program in his community. The father, a high-powered executive with a New York City based firm, was also large in terms of stature, girth, personality and volume! He approached me in front of a group of other parents, invaded my/our space, and publically demanded that I place his son in our private kindergarten.

How many times as educators have we been confronted with a situation without the time to mull over an appropriate answer? When we have been expected to come up with a miraculous solution at the flick of a finger? When we have had to redirect a potentially combustive circumstance within a blink of time? As professionals we are expected to be experts at handling these difficult challenges, but the truth is how often do we walk away with a feeling of “Aha! I did that really well! Hooray for me!”

What’s your experience with this? What challenges have you faced? How many times have you felt as if you had “aced” it?

OUTCOME: Sometimes thoughts just flow into your head from nowhere. That’s what happened to me in the above situation. Realizing that the father was impressed with his own power, I asked him if he wanted his son to be a successful adult (don’t we all!)? I explained that all the skills he would need in life would be learned in the Pre-K classroom: negotiating, evaluating, persuading, team building, selling of ideas, etc. The father walked away feeling comfortable; the child had a fabulous year of growth, exploration and stretching; I was able to diffuse a potentially combustible situation; and more importantly the child went on to have an extremely successful academic career!